Saturday, 6 September 2008

MUMBAI CONVERSATIONS

Aap mumbai ke hi hain
Haan main Mumbai ka hai
Mumbai naam achha lagtaa hai ya Bombay?
Naam main kya hai, wayse jo oreegeenal naam hai wahi achha hai. abi jiska jo naam rahenga wayi achha lagenga na
Haan abhi bhi bahar log Bombay hi bulaate hain
Abhi naam badal ke kya hoyenga, jo karne ka hai aor yeh neta log karte nayi hai. abhi bolte hain, sab dukaan ka naam marathi main likho, abhi koi bahar ka aaya to kaise parhenga. Abhi socho na humlog tamilnadu main jaaega udhar sab madrasi main likha rahegna to kya pataa chalega kon sa dukaan kiska hai.

Meri nayi nayi shaadi huyi to wife bole, yeh Bombay ka bearish dikhao boli
Humlog bhi college se jaate the, marine lines bheegne ko, lekin abhi dar lagtaa hai
Haan main usko bola, Punjabi suit paen lo bole, phir poora din ghumaya, mereko boli, appsahi bolte the. Aaj bhi yad karti hai who.

Custumber log se pyaar se baat karne ka. Mera yeh siddhant hai. custumber apne ko yaad karna chahiye aur aake aisa dhoodhna chahiye. Custumber ko ijjat dene ka. Abhi hum tees saal se yahi dhande main hai, humlog ko pataa rehta hai kaun sa aadmi kaisa hai.
Sahi baat hai
Yeh sindhi log hai na, aapko pataa rahenga, yeh log paise k bare main bahut kadak hote hain. Abhi ek sindhi Buddha buddhi baithe the, to mere ko bole, ki aaj ke zamaane main tumhare jaisa driver nahin milega. Unka saaman wagere ghar tak paunchanaya, mereko 40 rupaye diye oopar se, bole abhi chai bhi pee ke jaao.
Arre waah! Sahi hai.
Main mere bachche log ko bhi samjhaaya ki raada nahin karne ka, koi gaali bhi diya to bolne ka haan bhai tu hi badaa, tu bade baap ki auulaad hai. lekin collar pakda to peechhe nahin hatne ka.

Aap bataao aaj ke zamaane main 2 lakh rupay khaali bhharose par koi kisi ko deta hai?
Nahin bilkul nahin
Main diya. Mere dost log ne London jaane ka program banaya tha. To who show karne ka hota hai na. main dikahyaa. Bank ka paisa tod diya. Abhi mera visa cancel ho gaya, mera 50 hazaar rupay aisa hi nuksaan ho gaya. Aur baaki tootela 2 laakh ayesa hi ghar main laga gaya
Pchhhk!Oh ho!
Ise liye main bolta hoo, yeh ghar pae wife log ka baat sun ne ka. Yeh ladies log ka dimaag bahut shaant rehta hai. ab to koi paisa maangta hai mian bolta hai, jao meri wife se poochho. Saara paisa bbhi roz ka usko de deta hai. tension chahiye hi nahin baba. Kabhi kuchh chahiye to usi se maangta hai.


Meri beti beauty parlour main kaam karti hai. meri wife ko boli, mummy tub hi seekh le, phir mere ko help karna. Meri wife boli pappa boumb daalega. Phir bhi mere se poochi who. Main bola bhai main jab tak hai, tab tak kaam ka sochna nahin.
Achha, lkin karne dete kaam, madad hi ho jaati
Nahi madam, aisa to humlog main aurat ko kaam karne ko hi allowed nahin hai. usmein bhi karte hai, lekin nahin mere ghar par nahin. Abhi beti ko karne diya, uska time kya hai alag hai na. humlog main ladij log ko bahjut aaaraam rehta hai.
Lekin beti ko aapne permission de di, achha hai
Haan, abhi usko bola main ki chal teri gaon main shaadi kar deta hoo. Humlog Andhra ke hain. Who boli nayi pappa mere ko Bombay main hi shaadi karni hai. abhi kya bolenge.
Sahi baat hai, ab who yahan reh gayi hai to use gaon main kahaan achha lagega.
Lekin idhar life main bahut tension hai. abhi dekho na main bhi heart patient hoon.

Aap Bombay ke hain bhaiya?
Marathi log kabhi muchha rakhta hai?
Kya?
Main marathi nahin hoon. UP ka hoon.
Achhaa, Bombay main kab se hain?
Abhi kya bolnge kab se hoon. Sab danga dekha, sab blast dekha. Socho tab se hoon.
Aap bahar gaon se hain?
Nhain bhaiya, yahin se hain, ab 18 saal ho gaye idhar
Main nahin manta, idhar ke log rickshawale se baat nahin karte
Nahin aisa nahin hai. humlog to hamesha baat karte hain.
To phir aap bhi hamaare side ke honge, kidhar gaon hai aapka
Bihar main
Dekha main bola naIdhar to humlog kabhi kuchh kaam ka bhi pooch lein to baat sune bina customer boltya hai, faaltu baat mat karo, rickshaw chalao. Bhaiya bhi idhar matlab kya hota hai?
Matlab.
Bhaiya keh kar hi bulaate hain na
Kya bhaiya! Sorry

Roz kitna cigarette peeti hain?
4-5
maal daal key aise hi
aise hi bhaiya
haan idhar achha maal bilta bhi nahin hai. hamaare side phres maal milta hai.
lkein cigarette chhor do. Is se koi tension door nahin hota. Baba ramdev ka yoga karo.


Kidhar the aap. Dikhe nahin bohat time se.
Haan main yahan nahin thin na
Kidhar gaye the
Pakistan
Pakistan? Kaaye ko?
Parhaayi ke liye
Haan kya? Kaisa hai udhar. Idhar ke hi jaisa hai kya.
Wahn roads bahut ache hain aur saaf safai bahut hai. Trees bhi bahut zyaada hain.
Haan kya? To aisa tv par dikhaate hain waisa nahin hai kya.
Nahin. Media kuchh zyaada hi baraha charha kar dikhaati hai.
To Indian log ke saath kaisa rehte hain whana par
Arre bahut khush hote hain agar unko pataa chal jaaye ki aap India se hain. Itna achha lagata hai.
Haan kya aur sab mehngaayi hai wahan bhi?
Haan daily needs ki cheezein kaafi mehangi hain.
Currency kya hai? Ruppes hi na?
Haan Pakistani rupees.
Kya rate hai?
1 dollar 60-62 rupees hai. Yeh lijiye kuchh Pakistani coins.
Arre wah. Thank you

Yahan se left le le lijiyega
Mere ko pata hai madam. Aap udhar dheeraj main rehte hain na
Haan, aapko kaise pataa
Who aapke dost ke saath aap film ka baat kar rahe the na. yeh bilding main bahut film waala rehta hai na.
Haan hain thode bahut.
Main bahut se ko auto se chhora hai idhar. Sab naye naye aayele the na tab. Abi u sab ka naam nahin pata merelo. Sab serial main dekha to malaaom parta hai.
Yahan se gate ke andar.
Pata hai madam, aap khaali wing bolo. Jaada log d main rayta hai na
A wing
Aap bhi shooting line main hai?
Nahin bhaiya
Nahin heroine nahin matlab aisa directoir wagehre rahe ge na aap?
Nahin bhaiya.
Chalo koi baat nahin. Abhi rehte rehte aapka bhi man karenga. Chutta nahin 10 rupaye?

!!!Oshiwara!!!???
baitho
uff!!! Bhaiya yahan se koi jaane ko tayaar kyun nahin hota. Aise mana thode na kar sakte hain customer ho.
Madam 9 baj rahela hai. abhi gaadi badli ka time hota hai. gaadi ko ek minute bhi der hua to fine lagta hai.
Oh achha! Mujhe nahiun pataa tha
Kaise pata rahega madam. Customer log khaali gaali de kar chalaa jaata hai. abhi humlog ki bhi koi majboori raiti hai. aisa samjhna chaiye. Par idhar time kisko hai.
par bhaiya humein kaise pataa chaelga. Ab pataa chal gay na.
Haan lekin aisa man main gaali nayi dene ka madam, time khraab jaata hai phir.
Kya bhaiya aap to mere peechhe hi par gaye.
Nahin madam bura nayi maan ne ka. Abhi aap poochha to main bhi dil khol ke bataa diya ki kya problam hai. tab bhiu mereko achha lagaa app pooche.

1 comment:

Imran said...

Aalaa, bohat achha laga parh kar......